I know. That’s the lazy, even cowardly way to live. But let’s be honest, haven’t we all been tempted? Whenever I try to coast, though, I remember the movie City of Angels: an angel becomes human for love, and the human dies about five minutes later. It’s like buying in at support only to get whipsawed by a fakeout. Even when you plan, the plot twists are non-negotiable. 

So what am I really here to share? I wish I could say it’s for the greater good, or to uplift the world, or something noble like that. In reality, I just want to entertain you. (And, full disclosure, I’m also hoping to snag a shiny spot in a magazine feature for my company. I don’t expect you to care about that, but, hey, if you do, I might like you a little bit more. If you can see through the layers of delusion, self-deprecation, and semi-serious ambition, you might stick around for the story. And if you don’t, that’s fine. I’ll keep writing anyway. 

Why do I want to share? 

 Because I’m tired of letting algorithms and trending TikToks decide who gets to have a voice. Because every time I update this blog, I get to trick myself into thinking I’m as legitimate a writer, a marketer, or at least someone who didn’t give up and disappear when vlogging killed the blogging star as my favorite influencer. Also, because I like the idea of “plot twists.” 

Come for the curiosity. Stay for whatever happens next. 

Let’s rewind... 

New Year of 2025

It’s the start of the year, and my untouched goals are still stuck in last year’s to-do list. I’d just left an IT company, my first crash course in both outsourced tech and the AI arms race. Suddenly everyone was talking about ChatGPT, cybersecurity, and how soon we’d all be replaced by code. 

Until a friend staged an intervention. (There’s always that one friend, right? The one who refuses to let you stagnate just because you’ve become comfortably numb.) Anyway, the pandemic had already convinced me to retire from trying so hard. But I got nudged into doing something--not just for me, but for my family. Even if “contributing” to them still feels a bit abstract because who really needs more help. *side eyes the family tree* 

If you’ve known me for more than a minute, you’ll know that my main contribution to the world is a series of unpredictable reinventions. Every time things get too boring, the universe plucks me out and dumps me somewhere new, just for sport. I am the queen of unexpected pivots... usually right after everyone else has already outgrown them. 

 I used to think that made me adventurous, until I met the real main characters: the digital nomad-turned-cult-leader, or the glitched-out influencer I now low-key obsess over. So I’m not even close. In fact, next to them, I’m more like a well-behaved NPC in the simulation, watching the chaos from a safe distance. That used to make me feel small until I realized, lately, that the only difference between background and foreground is the decision to step forward. 

What changed? And why I’m playing again?    This is the real reason I’m sharing: I made a decision to be alive again. That’s it. There was no dramatic awakening, just a subtle but radical “yes” to playing my own game, even if I don’t know the rules. Sometimes all it takes is deciding not to tap out. 

Landing in the UAE with zero expectations, I figured I’d rely on the only cheat code I’ve ever known: a little bit of faith and a lot of luck. Since I came back to religion, I seem to stumble into fortune like I did as a kid. If anyone’s judging my strategy, save it. Maybe try the rosary yourself. I’m not gatekeeping. As for the dream of working in media? I gave it a shot...sort of. 

Turns out, showing up at Media City and knocking on office doors with nothing but my “quirky” personal essays and no formal journalism cred isn’t a power move, but it sure is a story. It didn’t pan out (yet). The logical next step? Resurrect the blog, get some eyes on it, and maybe, just maybe, hack my way onto the radar of someone who matters. 

So what’s the takeaway? If you’ve read this far, congratulations... you’re either my future biographer or just nosy. Either way, here’s what I want you to leave with: 1. You don’t have to be the main character to matter... Background players can still switch lanes, take up space, and write plot twists. 2. Life never goes as planned, but plans are overrated. Living beats plotting. 3. You can want things unapologetically...even if part of you feels selfish for wanting them 4. The only thing separating a bystander from a player is the decision to play. And, sometimes, just dumb luck. So, why do I write?